by Aya (aka Beth)
She hadn’t meant to feel vulnerable around anyone ever again; Anarky was the last person she had let her guard down with and he had more than earned her trust. If he ever were to call on her she’d drop everything in a non-existent heartbeat for him, she owed him her life and she still felt indebted to him, but he wanted her to experience this life on her own terms. He did not want to bind her to some other servitude after getting her out of the last. She’d been through enough; she was set on a path to reclaim the time that had had been stolen from her. Not that she had done anything meaningful either since coming to this town, she had filled the last year with pointless hook ups for feeding sessions or some other short-lived fun. She felt restless and despite having some friends in the same predicament as her, she had not gotten close with any of them, not with any substantial depth anyway. Least of all Justin, she had never taken him seriously ever since they met, he was always the jokester and ready to cause havoc wherever he went. This self-proclaimed Casanova, who from time and time again decided to try one his insufferable cheesy lines on Beth, only to be met with the usual eye roll before he found some poor human victim to torture with the rest of his repertoire. She could never understand why some women fell for him after all…
Cue one of the endless nights in the city of San Giles, it had started out like most nights, hanging out at the beach with some brood members, a quick dip to the Triple G so that Beth could check whether everything was going to plan despite this being her night off, and finally the most restless ones among them ended up heading to Dancesylvania at about 3am.
They had nestled into a velvet booth in a corner upon their arrival and Martin promptly hit the dance floor, enjoying himself to the fullest, while hypnotizing the crowd with his hip swings, all in the the alluring presence of Roxanne, the club owner.
In the meantime the remaining two, Justin and Beth, were enjoying a weird mix of whisky and blood, one of their favourite house cocktails, whilst talking about mundane stuff that had happened in the last week across the city. From time to time some guy interrupted, chiming in how attractive he found Beth and how he couldn’t help himself from coming over to talk to her, but she just waved them off tonight and told them to come to the next gig instead if they were so interested in taking up her time. Assuming that she was busy with her current company, they scoffed at Justin or gave him the side eye before heading back from where they had emerged. She had no need for food and Roxanne’s clientele wasn’t exactly to her taste even if she had been. On top of that she was enjoying their banter too much and did not appreciate these interruptions. Justin seemed unbothered by these advances, in fact he already paused ahead of time whenever he saw somebody approach, because he knew this all too well and wanted to leave her all the space if necessary. She would only have needed to say the word and he would have gone off to go find a date of his own, but it seemed that both were keener on their ongoing talk than any outward intrusion or promise of some short-lived fun. Beth had indeed noticed his behaviour and found it sweet of him, she usually didn’t take him for someone who was this perceptive or accommodating, but he did have his moments. She mused about a moment at the Triple G earlier, when he had tried to hit on one of the local groupies, well-known to her of course, sadly not in a good way either, hence why she had been somewhat relieved when Justin came back after being turned down abruptly.
She had no time to investigate why exactly this had put her at ease tonight, usually she did not even pay attention to what the others were up to, unless they needed her assistance of course, but that particular paring seemed to irk her a bit, despite never coming to fruition. When had she started caring about who Justin left with? She ran a finger along the border of her glass and swaying a bit with the music while trying to push these thoughts away and to focus on Justin’s story about his epic fight with a seagull the other day. She looked more intently at him; he was turned three years younger than her and generally he couldn’t take anything serious for more than a minute at a time, hence why she usually focused more on talking to Dali or other more mature members. He was just as flirtatious as her, just with lower success rates, so they had that in common, but their approaches couldn’t have been more different. He could probably pull way more if he were to clean up, but she had to admit to herself that she liked his rebellious rugged look, there was some charm to it after all. She couldn’t help but let out a small snicker at the thought of finding him more attractive after all than she would ever like to admit. Justin raised an eyebrow as to question who’s side she was on but she assured him quickly that the bird obviously had it coming and they continued to talk for another two hours while Martin occasionally chimed in, but was mostly busy flirting with a young man who had sought him out on the dancefloor. He was beaming with excitement and Justin and Beth both winked at each other, very well knowing that four people would be heading back to the apartment block. Beth had become a bit quieter ever since she had started to consider what Justin might be like on a date, or even as a lover… At that moment she hadn’t noticed him watching her at that exact thought and she couldn’t help but blush a bit, to the extent that a kindred can blush. ‘What are you thinking about that that’s getting you all hot and bothered over there?’
‘Nothing, nothing for you to be concerned about’, she answered while throwing a nut at him, from the complimentary snack bowl in front of her.
‘Oh, is that you telling me that you’re ‘nuts for me’?’ he chuckled while returning the favour.
‘In your dreams’ she sighed, accompanied by her typical eyeroll, and so their banter at the club went on until it was time to leave.
Eventually they made their way home, neither of them was ready to call it a night, so Justin and Beth headed to the rooftop, while Martin guided his slightly inebriated date to his flat. Justin and Beth both snickered and wished him luck before vanishing up the stairs.
Beth grabbed some drinks from the fridge they had moved up here recently and joined Justin, who was standing at the railing of the roof, looking out at the bay and the stars above them.
‘Ah I see, you found the archer’ she mused, following his gaze.
‘The what?’ ‘Sagittarius, look, there’s the Orion belt and that over there is his drawn bow.’
‘Ohhhh, yeah okay I see it now. Didn’t know you were into stars. Are you gonna tell me about my zodiac next?’
‘No dummy, astrology and astronomy are two different things’, she jokingly pushed against his shoulder, laughing at him, before becoming a bit quieter and more pensive. ‘Knowing your stars matters a lot you know, it reminds me of worse times in the past and at the same time also of somebody who helped me out of a sticky situation…’ she sighed, despite having no need for air in her lungs anyway, but some habits are harder to shake off than others.
‘Anarky, was it? I think you mentioned him before, but not much more than that’, he looked expectantly at her, ready to listen to however much she was ready to share, but he wouldn’t push.
‘There was a period at the beginning of my “unlife” where all I had was to look at the stars to distract me from…well things…’ she paused for a moment, trying to shake off some distant memories that were trying to sneak up on her, before continuing ‘and in general they can show you the way if you’re lost…’
She didn’t know what else to add, while dealing with this inner struggle, so Justin tried to breach the silence, to distract her somehow.
‘Fascinating stuff, really, maybe it’s the stars that guided me to San Giles and I didn’t even notice. I was definitely lost after being turned myself and I was just trying to get away…’ that hadn’t felt all too successful, but at least she had nodded in response while taking another sip, clenching her arms otherwise around her body.
He moved his hand ever so slightly, considering to rub her back or putting his arm around her shoulders, but he hesitated for a brief moment and decided against it after all. Instead he took a big swig from his beer and continued ‘I probably still have no clue who I am, it went all so quick and while I’m not alone anymore thanks to all of you, I don’t really know where to go from here on out…’
Here they were, both poking at old memories unintentionally, trying to not give in to their personal darkness, listening to the wind caressing the rooftops of the city they now both called home.
‘If the others could see us like this’ Beth the into the lingering silence, ‘they’d have a laugh at us being the quiet ones for once. I guess neither of us really likes to talk about the past with good reason, it’s really nothing personal, I’ll tell you some day… I guess we just prefer to surround ourselves with the sounds of others as much as possible to drown out the memories…’ she hated to admit this, but while she couldn’t tell him about Phyllis and her time in Reno, this much she felt needed to be said. Somehow she was wringing with herself, wanting to confide her past in him, but even thinking about it made her throat close up…
‘Yeah, I guess you’re not wrong. Even in the pipe I can at least hear the waves crashing onto the beach, and the rats further in of course’, Beth wrinkled her nose at the thought of it. Both gave a small laugh cause neither was pleased at the thought of rats running close by. Beth even gave the rooftop a quick glance to make sure there were none.
‘You know, it’s nice though to see you like this, not the loud rebel and tease, just Justin, the person; you should show that side of yourself more often.’
‘Thanks, but if I do that, people might have expectations about me, being the leader, strategist, judge, and I don’t want to disappoint anyone, so being the rowdy brat suits me more.’
‘There’s definitely still good in you, whether you like it or not’ she smiled as he seemed a bit embarrassed by that statement, ready to deny it but after a pause he figured that he couldn’t fully object and instead turned a tinge red.
‘Well right back at you, you’re not the bad bitch you front all the time, Dali may be to some extent, but both of you are as sweet and soft as cherry pie sweetheart’ he winked at her, knowing full well that this made her think of the Warrant song by the same name.
Beth briefly nodded, sighed and turned towards Justin. She stepped in closer, sweeping a streak of hair away and cupped his face both her hands, taking him by surprise. She usually wasn’t the type for physical contact, he knew that all too well so his eyes widened in surprise.
‘Now you listen to me, you’re precious in your own way and we all love you as you are. You are the glue that holds this band of misfits together, you hear me? And I won’t hear any backtalk’ and with that she planted a soft kiss on his forehead.
‘I got you; if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me. We all have our baggage to carry but that doesn’t mean that we need to crash under the weight. We can help each other you know and I’m there for you.’
Right there it felt like time was standing still for a moment. She had raised her eyebrow at him, expecting him to challenge her nonetheless, but instead they remained in that position just for a bit too long. Both staring into each other’s eyes with a new found softness for each other it seemed. Such moments were already rare for the brood members, but even more so for these two. Slowly Justin put his hand on top of Beth’s, pressing it against his face with closed eyes, to then pull it slowly towards his lips, to place a soft kiss on her hand. Beth hadn’t expected such a gesture, but she didn’t pull back; instead she let out a little gasp, not taking her eyes off of him. Both seemed to have a very mild glow in their cheeks and unsure what to do next Justin had been leaning on the railing when Beth had gotten a hold on his face, but now he slowly straightened himself to his full height, still Beth’s hand held in his. He very carefully leaned in closer to her and softly caressed the back of her hand as she didn’t riposte.
‘It’s unusual for you to let me have a moment like this with you’, he whispered, ‘I fully expected you to throw me over the railing for that…’ he gave her a semi-earnest, semi-passionate look.
Beth didn’t know what to do, she was at a loss for words. This wasn’t the Justin that would try cheesy pick-up lines or try to piss off anyone that looked too long at any of his friends. His movements were slow and soft and he seemed to be waiting for her to either back away or give her approval. Beth could still feel the cold flame that her past had sparked within her frame and in that moment she instinctively pulled him into a tight embrace.
She hid her face in his shoulder and muttered ‘Just for a bit, I know you are here with me, but I feel really lonely right now, so won’t you stay with me like this for a second, please?’
He couldn’t remember her ever having asked him for anything so softly, usually she had a commandeering tone and was in full control, whether it was at the venue or with the brood. This almost seemed like a different person, her voice barely a whisper. He could hear that she was not far from tears, this tiny shiver that she was trying to hide, a crack in her voice and he was a bit at a loss as to what he could do to help her calm down. So he wrapped his arms tightly around her and slowly caressed her hair, whispering into her ear how much he adored her for who she was, that she didn’t always have to be strong for others, that she was allowed to be meek, that he would protect her no matter what. He understood all too well what she meant with the cold, he felt this lack of warmth as well from time to time. You’d think that having all eternity at your fingertips would fill you with enthusiasm and ideas, but it was lonelier than most could imagine. It gnawed away at your soul and you felt like you lost a piece of your true self every year, trickling through your fingers, lost on the breath that didn’t pass through your lungs. You were nothing but an eerie monument, an unnatural husk trapped in time, doomed to watch others pass by, their hopes and dreams, their tragedies and losses, all which made them human, every breath, every heartbeat, all that was lost for them…
Justin felt a sudden urge to not give into the bleakness that was their existence, not tonight at least. He loved to pretend, joke and flirt around, to take advantage of the distraction when he got lucky, but right now he wanted to cherish this moment with Beth, however long it would last. She was the prettiest girl he’d had laid eyes on, always seeming far too good to even spend time with him, but for some reason she always did. He was surrounded by all these impressive women, but he didn’t even dare to try and be serious with any of them for fear of how it would affect the brood, and that he was not worth their time… but right now those doubts had no room. He slowly backed out of the hug, just enough to be an inch away from Beth’s face to get a good look at her. He had not been mistaken, tears had slowly made their way down her cheeks, leaving red trails… They looked into each other’s eyes once more and Justin’s eyes welled up with blood as well at seeing her pain reflected in hers. Neither seemed too surprised and Beth tried a small smile to pretend that she was fine, but Justin could feel the little tremor in her arms as he held onto her. At first tentatively, as slowly as possible, then with more confidence, all while paying close attention to her body language, he leaned in closer and closer and kissed her tears away.
‘You know, I shouldn’t be surprised, your blood is just as sweet as you’ he whispered into her hear before facing her again, a soft smirk on his lips, and with that he lifted her chin ever so slightly, making sure she’d let him to press his lips against hers.
She didn’t refuse, rather she welcomed the touch of his lips; she even let out a soft moan and slung her arms slowly around his neck to let him know that she was not about to let him pull away easily. He seemed a bit surprised, but didn’t need any more hints to pick her up and slowly make their way to one of the couches. He sat her down softly and positioned himself over her to continue to make out. Beth never completely let go of him, holding on to his arm or shirt, for fear that the moment would end, that whatever spell they had cast on each other would vanish. She needed this right now, and it seemed so did he. Their kisses grew hungrier, more demanding and Justin eventually made his way down her throat. While he may come across as clumsy and brute in other situations, he clearly knew how to arouse a woman and he was not about to waste a minute left of this night. There were no more words, only the sounds of two bodies entwined in a strange mixture of love and lust, in a silent agreement to just let it happen, with only the stars as witnesses.